BLOG

The Emotional Stages of Planning a Wedding

Turns out, there are distinct emotional phases you may go through before getting married. You can experience these stages in any order, and every person’s experience is just as unique as their wedding.

Stage 1: Pure Happiness

Pop the champagne corks: This is really happening! Getting engaged to my husband Jason was a surreal experience, even though I had a feeling that bended-knee moment was coming. I was initiated into the incredibly wonderful (and wacky) world of weddings. I nostalgically look back on all of my wedding experiences now that my proofs are back, my beautiful wedding dress is dangling from a closet door, waiting to be preserved, and I’m transitioning into my role as a wife.

But the truth is that the source of my happiness was deeper than all of that. The Most Epic Party of Our Lives would just be the first of many adventures together: buying a house, traveling the world, and hopefully having a baby someday. Professing our commitment added another dimension to our relationship, no matter how cliché it sounds.

How to make the most of this stage:
Prolong the engagement bliss as long as you can before you have to buckle down and start making some big decisions. Talk with your fiancé about your wishes for the wedding, but don’t start asking everyone for advice on nitty-gritty details or scheduling that dress appointment before you’ve had a chance to discuss logistics — that’ll come in due time.

Stage 2: Bewilderment

Once the daydreaming phase was over, we realized that executing our wedding would be much more complicated than we initially thought. Confusion set in, compounded by the fact that people started offering their two cents on everything from what cake flavor they liked to which bridesmaid dresses they hated. We hadn’t even set a date yet! Secretly, I began to dread the “W” word and prayed it wouldn’t come up in conversation at family functions or nights out with friends.

Who do we invite? When do we do what? How do we make the wedding reflective of our personalities? I remember trolling through message boards desperately searching for answers. And then there was the biggest question of all: how much is this all going to cost? The sticker shock came fast and furious, forcing us to prioritize on what was most important. We made a lot of sacrifices over the next few years (eliminating vacations, Christmas/birthday gifts, and date nights out).

How to make the most of this stage:
Event planning is akin to building a house — you need a solid foundation, or else it all topples over. Start by locking in a date and deciding about how many guests you’ll want to invite since you’ll need that information before you look at venues. Now’s also the time to have that much-dreaded (yet necessary) conversation about finances, and decide who’s paying for what . Consider it good practice for married life! Determine the tone of your event — ultra-formal, a casual beach side affair or even a creative themed wedding — which will help guide the rest of your planning decisions.

Stage 3: Determination

Once critical tasks like choosing the venue, bridal party, and dress were checked off, other decisions that were dependent on those factors fell into place. A vision began to take shape: a glamorous mermaid gown with an intricate back, a vintage limo from the ’30s, an electric violinist who would play our favorite rock songs during the cocktail hour, etc. Finally, it all felt very “us.” And I fell in love with our wedding all over again.

To accomplish our goals in time, we broke projects up into smaller, more manageable pieces. For long-term projects that spanned the entire duration of our engagement, like my journey to get in great physical shape, I made weekly goals (e.g. attend three gym classes). When I met them, I would give myself a small reward, such as a pro manicure or my favorite lunch.

How to make the most of this stage:
Research rates for wedding services in your area so that you’re well-informed at meetings with vendors. Ask recent brides not only who they’d recommend, but which vendors raised red flags if any. On the flip side, ask your photographer, florist, DJ, etc. who they like working with since they may be able to recommend great vendors to fit your needs. Also, I can’t stress how many miscellaneous papers, sketches, receipts, etc. you’ll accrue during this time. Create an organization system that works for you.

Stage 4: Overconfidence, Denial, and Bargaining

I thought I’d be able to sit back, relax, and reap the benefits of being an early bird a couple of months before the wedding. I put off certain projects that I found undesirable — ahem, mailing out invitations — and preoccupied myself with anything that didn’t have to do with our big day. It wasn’t a conscious decision; in retrospect, it probably stemmed from anxiety over hurting the feelings of anyone who wasn’t invited.

When I wasn’t in denial, I was in bargaining mode. There were times when I wished I had someone (read: a paid professional) to play the role of The Enforcer and back me up in awkward situations. For example, I had to fire a vendor who was MIA and scramble to find a replacement at the last minute. I also had to keep the peace with a relative who created a major blowout the week before my wedding over something trivial. I realized that a year from now, these things wouldn’t matter, unlike truly difficult circumstances that other brides far more courageous than myself have had to face before their weddings. However, I felt drained nonetheless.

How to make the most of this stage:
Develop a support system of trusted advisors, whether it’s your mom, your best friend, a knowledgeable coworker, whomever. No one is Superwoman, and if you try to manage everything on your own, like I did, without asking anyone for help, then odds are you’ll crash and burn eventually. Learn to delegate smaller projects to those who want to contribute to the wedding cause. Try not to take things too personally and keep in mind that weddings can be stressful at times for parents, family members, and the bridal party, too — not just the bride and groom.

Stage 5: Decision Fatigue

A typical conversation with my now-husband in this stage went something like this:

Bride: “Babe, what song should we use for our same-day edit video? How about ‘When You Got a Good Thing’ by Lady Antebellum? Too country? ‘White Dress’ by Ben Rector? Overused? An acoustic male rendition of ‘Teenage Dream’ by Katy Perry? Too quirky? Forget it, just let the videographer choose, I’m done making decisions and never want to see another song list for as long as I live…”

Groom: …

Bride: “But what if we hate the one they pick? Oh yeah, did you remember to tell the groomsmen to try on their tuxes?”

Groom: …

Bride: “We have to drop off the programs, pick up a few extra favors and make sure we have everything for the hall. Want me to text you a reminder to-do list? Oh my God, we never submitted the final check to the DJ!”

How to make the most of this stage:
This frenzied kind of thinking is a scientific phenomenon. The New York Times reports that our capacity to weigh options gets maxed out when we’re calling upon it too often. Author John Tierney describes planning for a wedding “the decision-fatigue equivalent of Hell Week.” More often than not, decision fatigue not only saps your energy, but it can put a huge strain on your relationship, too. When you realize your partner is suffering from overload or vice versa, set the decision aside. Go out on a date, work out, read a book, do anything but talk about the wedding. Not only will this put you in a better mood, but it’ll give you perspective to eventually come up with the right answer.

6. Panic, Followed by Acceptance

Bursts of clarity can come from even the most unexpected places. One of the most vivid moments I recall was during a casual family conversation that started out about how excited guests were to attend the wedding. My parents became anxious about everything going perfectly. “I don’t care about wowing guests! I just want to marry Jason. I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him,” I exclaimed out of nowhere.

My parents still tease me about my random outburst from time to time, but in all seriousness, it made me realize that no matter what happened, my wedding would be amazing because I was getting married, and that was all that mattered. A peaceful feeling came over me the week before the wedding. I just focused on having fun with my family, bridal party, and all of the people who had flown in for the occasion.

How to make the most of this stage:
Plan a few enjoyable activities for the week before the wedding to help distract yourself. I had a spa bachelorette party with my girlfriends, and a surprise Hawaiian bridal shower at work. I also entertained out-of-town guests from Europe with a boat sail around NYC, and an impromptu limo ride. It was the most fun I’d had in months, and it helped me remember what the wedding day was truly about.

When all else fails, remember that on your wedding day, you will be surrounded by all of the people who’ve touched your lives, from when you were a child up until now. For Jason and I, that count included ill elderly relatives and loved ones who had flown in from other states (and countries). Celebrating our new life together with all of them present was more beautiful than we ever could have imagined, and made all of the planning craziness worth it.

Hosting Unforgettable Parties
15 Apr, 2024
Throwing a party that leaves a lasting impression on guests involves much more than just gathering people in one place. It's about creating a unique and memorable experience that stands out. From selecting the perfect venue to crafting a captivating theme, every detail plays a pivotal role in the success of the event.
Perfect Party Playlist
07 Apr, 2024
Creating the perfect party playlist is more art than science, involving a keen understanding of the event's atmosphere and the guests' varied tastes. Music sets the rhythm of the night and plays a pivotal role in transforming a gathering into an unforgettable experience. Whether it's an intimate birthday celebration or a grand wedding reception, the soundtrack of the evening has the power to evoke emotions and get people onto the dance floor. This guide provides valuable insights into selecting the right genres, establishing a musical pace, and the benefits of entrusting the playlist to a professional DJ, ensuring every moment resonates with the party's vibe.
Themed Parties
14 Mar, 2024
Planning the perfect themed party can seem like a daunting task, but with the right approach, it can be both manageable and enjoyable. From selecting a theme that excites you to decorating your space and choosing activities that complement the theme, every step offers an opportunity to spark creativity and fun.
07 Mar, 2024
Weddings are a symphony of moments and memories, not just for the couple but also for each guest attending. A well-managed guest experience adds harmony to this symphony, ensuring that the celebration is as joyous for the attendees as it is for the hosts. Effective guest management involves meticulous planning, from the precision of the guest list to the comfort of seating arrangements, adapting to special needs, and finally, to the infusion of engaging entertainment. Crafting the Perfect Guest List The journey to flawless guest management begins with crafting the guest list . It requires a delicate balance between the couple's vision for their special day and the practical constraints of their budget and venue capacity. Establishing priorities for the guest list is pivotal. Immediate family and closest friends form the inner circle, and from there, the list can expand based on the importance of each potential attendee's relationship to the couple. As the list takes shape, categories emerge. Dividing guests into groups such as family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances can streamline the process. Couples must remember that each addition to the list can impact the dynamic of the event. The goal is to create an atmosphere where guests can share in the joy without feeling lost in the crowd. Designing Seating Arrangements Seating arrangements are an art form, blending social harmony with logistical necessity. The goal is to ensure that each table becomes a microcosm of the wedding's broader conviviality. To start, identifying a focal point for the seating—the head table or sweetheart table—grounds the arrangement. Then, organizing guests into tables by relationships or common interests fosters comfortable interactions. Just as a painter works from the background to the details, couples should layout the general seating before delving into specific assignments. This approach allows them to visualize the flow of the space and the proximity of each guest to the essential happenings. Once the broader picture is set, they can match guests to tables and positions that will enhance their experience. Accommodating Special Needs A key aspect of guest management is anticipating and accommodating special needs. This includes dietary restrictions, mobility issues, and other personal considerations. Engaging with guests prior to the event to inquire about any accommodations can prevent discomfort or exclusion on the big day. For dietary restrictions, liaising with the caterer to provide alternative options is vital. Moreover, ensuring that the venue is accessible for guests with mobility issues demonstrates thoughtfulness and care. Providing clear information in the invitation about accessibility and meal options can reassure guests that their needs have been considered. Infusing Engaging Entertainment Entertainment plays a crucial role in elevating the guest experience. Companies like Mystical Entertainment Group specialize in curating entertainment that complements the ambiance and keeps guests captivated throughout the event. From live music that sets the tone during dinner to a DJ that draws every guest onto the dance floor, the right entertainment has the power to create an electrifying atmosphere. The key is to tailor the entertainment to the guest demographic. An eclectic mix that spans genres and eras can appeal to a wide age range, while interactive elements like dance-offs or photo booths can add a spark of fun. Professional entertainers can read the room and adapt to keep the energy high and the memories flowing. Providing Welcome Bags Welcome bags greet guests with a personalized touch that sets the tone for the celebration. These bags, filled with thoughtfully selected items, can range from practical to whimsical. Essentials like a schedule of events, local maps, and transportation information provide logistical support, while local treats, personalized trinkets, or hangover kits add a playful element. Creating a welcome bag is an opportunity to infuse the couple's personality into the guest experience. Customized items that hint at the couple's story or wedding theme can make guests feel connected to the celebration even before the events begin. Personalizing Guest Experiences Individual attention to each guest's experience can transform a good wedding into an unforgettable one. Personalized touches, whether in place settings, individual notes, or specific shout-outs during speeches, make guests feel valued and included. Photographs of the couple with their guests, placed at each table or incorporated into the décor, can be a powerful way to personalize the space. Acknowledging guests' contributions to the couple's life and their effort to attend the wedding can leave a lasting impression. Welcoming Out-of-Town Guests Special attention should be given to out-of-town guests, who have invested additional time and resources to attend the wedding. Providing information on accommodations, organizing transport from the hotel to the venue, and suggesting activities for their stay can make a significant difference in their experience. Arranging a welcome gathering or a farewell brunch for out-of-town guests not only extends the celebration but also shows appreciation for their effort to be part of the couple's day. It is also an excellent opportunity for the couple to spend quality time with guests they may not see frequently. The Grand Finale As the wedding draws to a close, ensuring guests depart with positive memories is as important as their initial welcome. Farewell gestures, such as thank-you notes, small parting gifts, or a memorable send-off, can encapsulate the warmth of the event. The departure experience should be as smooth as their arrival, with organized transport and clear instructions to avoid any confusion or inconvenience. Ultimately, weddings are a testament to the couple's relationship and the community of people who support them. Mastery in guest management lies in recognizing that each wedding attendee plays a part in the tapestry of the day. Through a combination of thoughtful planning, personal touches, and professional entertainment, couples can craft an event that is enjoyable for all and leaves guests feeling not just as attendees, but as cherished participants in the celebration.  Ready to transform your wedding into a day of enchantment with the perfect entertainment? Mystical Entertainment Group specializes in creating unforgettable events with DJs that do more than play music—they craft an immersive atmosphere. Contact us today to discover how we can make your special day resonate with every attendee. Let’s make magic together!
Wedding Planning
14 Feb, 2024
Wedding attire holds profound significance across cultures, often embodying centuries of tradition and the essence of a heritage. In many societies, the garments worn on a wedding day carry as much symbolic weight as the ceremony itself. Consequently, couples today are inspired to honor their roots by integrating traditional elements into their wedding apparel. Modern weddings present a canvas where cultural attire can be re-imagined, blending ancient motifs with contemporary fashion. For those with diverse backgrounds, the wedding ensemble becomes an artful meld of patterns, fabrics, and accessories, each piece a tribute to a shared ancestral tapestry.
Eco-Friendly Wedding Guide
08 Feb, 2024
In recent years, eco-consciousness has woven its way into the fabric of daily living, including milestone celebrations like weddings. For couples who are mindful of their environmental footprint, planning a wedding that aligns with their values is not just a wish but a significant aspect of their special day. We will explore the avenues available to those seeking to minimize waste and make environmentally considerate choices throughout their wedding planning process. From invitations to decor, and catering, there are numerous opportunities to make a wedding more sustainable without sacrificing elegance and personal style. Furthermore, we will delve into how the Mystical Entertainment Group plays a pivotal role in creating a sophisticated and eco-friendly atmosphere.
Countdown to 'I Do'
14 Jan, 2024
Embarking on the path to matrimony is a thrilling journey filled with love, joy, and a fair share of planning. A detailed wedding timeline is not just a schedule; it's the blueprint for your perfect day, ensuring that every petal and playlist is in place when you walk down the aisle. This guide lays out the critical milestones in the countdown to 'I Do', providing a pragmatic approach to what can seem like an overwhelming process.
Wedding Menu
07 Jan, 2024
Selecting the perfect wedding menu is an art, a chance to showcase your style and delight guests with a memorable culinary experience. From choosing dishes that reflect your love story to considering dietary preferences and seasonal ingredients, these insights and tips will help you create a personalized menu that satisfies the palate and adds a special touch to your celebration.
Audio/Video Rentals
21 Dec, 2023
Anniversaries are milestones to celebrate. For couples, professional audio/video rentals are crucial to capture and preserve those precious moments. Recognizing the significance of quality equipment in preserving memories is key to creating an unforgettable anniversary celebration.
Black Light Show
14 Dec, 2023
Weddings are a tapestry of moments, meticulously woven together to create an unforgettable experience. Among these, the incorporation of a black light show can transform the event into a realm of magical luminescence. This innovative approach not only enhances the visual allure but also adds a unique touch to the celebration.
More Posts
Share by: